A Healthy Marriage Series: How Your Children Can Strengthen Your Marriage

If you are a parent who has done any amount of reading at all about marriage and children, I’m sure you’ve heard the negative statistics surrounding this topic. According to studies conducted by Discovery Health, the thought that “babies bring you closer together” is ranked number 4 on their list of Marriage Myths. Studies suggest that having children is a major source of stress that bring marriages to the breaking point.

I’m not here to try to convince you that these studies are right or wrong. These are tough times we live in, and raising a family can certainly have its stressful moments. Most parents are aware of that. But instead of focusing on the possible negatives, I want to give you a fresh perspective of how children can bring your marriage closer than it ever was before.

Psalm 127:3 tells us that our children are a blessing and reward from the Lord. This means that the addition of children to a marriage should have a positive effect, right? If you’re not exactly in that mindset right now, just keep reading. The following tips are designed to help you to make a few adjustments which will create a better atmosphere for the blessings and rewards to become evident.

Recognize Bonding Opportunities

This is key to a healthy marriage/parenting relationship. There are so many activities that we do with our children that not only allow bonding time for the parent/child relationship, but for your marriage connection as well.

Family Walks – Need to take the family dog out in the evening? Why not make it a family event? There are many benefits to adopting a habit of the ‘after dinner walk.’ It not only helps the children to burn off that extra energy before bedtime, but it allows you and your spouse to connect, hold hands, and talk about your day, upcoming events, or just to enjoy some quiet time together while you get some exercise. A timely tip for this activity: Leave your iPod and your Blackberry at home.

Family Dinners – You’ve seen the commercials, but are you doing it yet? Regular family dinners, seated around the table (as opposed to the television or computers) is vitally important to keeping that tight knit bond. There is something about sharing a meal together, undistracted and uninterrupted that just says ‘family.’ Your children will grow up with fond memories of family meals, and it will strengthen your marriage as well.

A Little Effort Goes a Long Way

Memories aren’t built on material possessions. Your child will never grow old and have teary-eyed moments when they think about the brand new iPad you bought them for their birthday. It’s the little, day-to-day things that create the closeness you desire in your marriage and family. Most of these things only take a tiny bit of effort, but they go a long way.

Tuck Your Children In Bed – Do you often call out an absentminded goodnight as you sit in front of the television at night? How about getting up and tucking your children in? Well, as they get older you’re not going to literally ‘tuck them in’ but making the effort to walk into their room as a couple to say goodnight and pray with your children will build a solid and lasting foundation in everyone involved. Long after your children are grown and move away, they will draw strength from the prayers and blessings that were spoken over them at their bedside every night.

Community Effort – There are many household duties or chores that are burdensome and boring when assigned to one family member alone. Teach your children how to be lighthearted and have fun in all they do by doing some things as a team. Is there a laundry basket full of socks that need to be matched and folded? Great…Make a game out of it! Have each participant sit on their own side of the basket and conduct a sock-matching race until each pair is matched up. Do the cars need washing? Great…Put everyone in their bathing suits and buy some water balloons to play with as well.

You get the idea, don’t you? It only takes a bit of effort and creativity to turn almost anything into a fun time. In the process you are strengthening your marriage, making memories, and teaching your children how to be great parents one day.

What are your ideas for family bonding and marriage strengthening? Leave a comment and let us know!